SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE TIPS. Part1

Yes I know, I have heard it a lot of times, “Do not take marriage tips from a single person!”…. Bla bla bla๐Ÿ˜’๐Ÿ˜’๐Ÿ˜’๐Ÿ˜..no p!!! So here’s the deal, don’t take it from me, but just see me as an instrument through which an Unbeatable Source is reaching out to you. Be you engaged, newly weds, struggling in marriage or even enjoying your marriage…..”it can only get better”

Give it a chance, after reading it and you don’t find anything useful(which is impossible) just comment down below.

I know its not just me who has noticed this horrible trend going on with marriages nowadays. When I say the devil is seriously attacking marriages, I mean full force attacks… And unfortunately even we the Christians who ought to be lights in this times of darkness, are worse off…quite sad but true, and this is because they have refused to go into the source that created this institution we call “Marriage”. 

My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge: because thou hast rejected knowledge.

                        –Hos 4:6a

I don’t know why, but my concern for marriages’ success has been for a very long time, maybe its since the day I heard a preaching on preparing for marriage, and one of the things we were told to do was to ensure one had read about 15 marriage related books(bible based of course) before getting married๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜€. Have you?๐Ÿ˜

Enough of this rambling, let’s dig into this tips already, In no particular order:

  1.  There is no such thing as soul mates in Christiandom…๐Ÿ˜’๐Ÿ˜”๐Ÿ˜” yes I know, but get it into your head… This has put a lot of people in trouble.Your soul really does not have a mate. Do not overlook obvious flaws because you think he/she is your soulmate and if you don’t marry that person, you’ll be single forever….Lies.(story for the …..๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜‰)
  2. Age maturity might not be so important, but please be spiritually mature.. Mature enough to see God in that guy/girl you want to marry. Not just because you met in church…. Haa!!!!!!  no be everything wey dey garage na  im be car oohhh!!๐Ÿ˜”. Spend time with God, grow in His presence, sharpen your ability to discern between those truly with Christ and those who are not. The truth is,being with a man/ woman who is genuinely intimate with God! You truly can’t go wrong. God will knack that person spiritual slap before they can try to hurt the apple of His heart (you๐Ÿ˜‰).
  3.  Its not in men’s nature to cheat on their wives. Ladies and Gentlemen get that notion out of your head. No where in the bible does it state such. You hear stuffs like ” its our second nature, we can’t help it๐Ÿ˜ ๐Ÿ˜’๐Ÿ˜’, or “I know my husband will cheat on me, but he will always come home to me๐Ÿ™‡๐Ÿ™‡๐Ÿ™‡”. Ahhh auntyy!!๐Ÿ˜จ You have chosen to see all the bad examples existing around the world, and base your future on them, because good examples are usually not brought to the open, they are not celebrated as much in this world.. Do a research today, you will see long lasting marriages,with no records of cheating. Men its not your nature to cheat… Ladies stop speaking negative into your future… Speak what you want to see..                                                     Death and life [are] in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof                                                 -Pro 18:21 
  4. Redirect your expectations back to God. I cannot over emphasize on this point. We expect so much from our partners,their families,our kids and most times get disappointed. It is utter foolishness to forget your partner is but man(flesh). Stop setting yourself up for dissapointments, it has a way of diminishing ones love and confidence in your partner.What is it you want, turn to the One who is the All sufficient, what is the change you want  to see in your partner, turn to Him who holds the hearts of Kings in His hand.                   The king’s heart [is] in the hand of the LORD, [as] the rivers of water: he turneth it whithersoever he will.                   -Pro 21:1
  5. Do not force your spouse to express his/her love the way you express yours. Ever heard of “The five languages of love”? .  Find it and read it… I have a summarized version on my blog(check it out) The truth is, we love differently, and if you can’t learn to understand how you and your partner’s love language works, you’ll truly be frustrated, always second guessing each others love, wanting more. A little reading never hurt. It takes more than love to work a successful marriage.. A whole lot of knowledge is required.                                  Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with [them] according to KNOWLEDGE, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.                                                              -1Pe 3:7 
  6. Ladies try this formular out.. Respect, reverence, notice, honor,prefer,esteem,praise, love and admire your husband exceedingly…. Hard right!!?, did you ask why?!… Here’s what will happen when you do; this will cause him to in turn love himself ( not what you were expecting right?)  See what the bible say .                                                                                            So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.                                                          -Eph 5:28                                      if he cannot love himself, he definitely won’t love you. So simply help him to love himself๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜€
  7. Ladies set your priority straight.. This is the right order of importance:
  • Relationship with God
  • Your husband
  • Your kids
  • Yourself
  • Household responsibilities
  • Outside ministry

Stop putting your kids before your husband, or your ministry before your husband, or your house chores…. No no no, God first, next in line is your husband (he is your covering) 

 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.                                                   -Eph 5:23

Finally understand that marriage is not a magic ground, the worst and the best of you is revealed in marriage.. If you are still single, give yourself an appraisal. Ask yourself this simple q!… “Would i want to marry myself knowing the kind of person i am?“if you are already married, its still not late.

Understand that Loving God will help you love yourself and once you can love yourself, then and only then will you be able to love your neighbor( wives and children).

Also recognize….

Marriage by God’s intent and purpose, was not for you to bear it or tolerate it. It was for you to enjoy it. Work towards having an enjoyable marriage and a welcoming home.

Thank you for reading…. Of course  feel free to pen down other tips that could help in the comment section ๐Ÿ‘‡๐Ÿ‘‡

Dont forget to like and subscribe…hugs and kisses๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜.

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WHY I DO WHAT I DO?!

If ones motives are wrong, nothing can be right .

-G.W. Carver.

Vocabulary.com defines motive as “the psychological feature that arouses an organism to action toward a desired goal; the reason for the action; that which gives purpose and direction to behavior”

But….      In a layman’s term…., (that is in my head๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜€)  motive can simply be said to be the REASON behind the ACTION.

Hey FAM, am sure by now you either know where I’m heading to OR you are like ‘what in the world’s name is this girl talking about?’๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜€ well if you fall in the latter group..hehehehe!, Ma binu( it means i’m sorry or don’t be vexed).           Okay okayyy but just before I unconfuse the confused, let me start with a tiny story

Sometime back in my universities days, the desire to sing appeared from only God knows where… A few friends had deceived me that I had a lovely voice….hahahaha and  ohhh boy was I dumb to believe them. Now hold on!!!! My voice wasn’t that bad sooo stop laughing, ๐Ÿ˜’๐Ÿ˜’๐Ÿ˜’but it definitely wasn’t lovely.

Now being newly converted believer I was experiencing Gods mercy so much and of course I wanted to testify to Gods goodness during a particular Sunday service. Can you guess how I wanted to testify??

Hehehe you got it right…. I wanted to sing to the glory of God๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜€… But I had made a dangerous prayer a few days back concerning my singing… Wanna know what I said… ” dear Lord, if I ever sing my testimony.., not to your glory but so people would hear how sweet I thought my voice was, please let me sing off-key”.

So back to the story, and as you know I decided to sing my testimony…………….. Ahhhhh! It was horrible, if you are music inclined you’ll understand what I mean when I say I was swapping parts, from soprano to tenor to auto to treble…., in one very short song. I was so embarrassed, after the service, my girlfriend came up to me laughing and was like “Joy weytin  happen… That your special number wan destroy my ear drum” I honestly wished the ground would swallow me.

On getting to my hostel, still embarrassed from the events of d day, laying on my bed I wondered why I had sang so terribly and that was when I remembered my prayer…, then and only then did I truly check the reason why I wanted to sing my testimony.

I was doing the right thing for the wrong reason, and at the end of the day…., it brought only shame.

Now you see guys, some or most of us are victims of these things: wrong motives but right actions. 

Have you ever stopped to ask yourself     ” why am I doing what I am doing?”……..Those clothes you gave out, or the gifts you bought for that special person, or the reason why you signed up to be a chorister/ a worker in God’s vineyard, or the money you gave your friend the other day!, WHY DID YOU DO IT?

Did you give, so that when you want to ask for a favour later on, the person wouldn’t be able to say no!, are you a chorister just because you believe you have a great voice and you just want people to know, are you giving out that gift to the orphanage so people will see you and praise you, are you praying ever so loudly, so people will hear and know you are a prayer warrior and God’s own child?.

I’m 100% certain that this is the reason the bible says and I quote: 2We justify our actions by appearances; God examines our motive.” 8.Mixed motives twist life into tangles;pure motives take you straight down the road.

                                               -Proverbs 21:2&8( Msg ).

As a child of God who strives to make heaven at the end of the day…. Never justify your actions by how good they were, but the MOTIVE behind the action.

Thank you for reading and from now on, do an appraisal of your action…ask yourself, why am I really doing this?.

God bless… Xoxo๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜

AFRICAN FUSION /INTERNATIONAL FASHION..

African prints commonly known as Ankara has proudly left the shores of Africa and gone international. Praise the Lord!!๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿ’ƒGone are the days when Ankara was enjoyed by africans Alone.

A lot of people refer to all african prints as Ankara, including myself๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿ˜ฎ but that’s going to change Today because am going to give us a little tutorial. 

African prints are divided into 

  • Wax Prints
  • Kente
  • Asoke
  • Adire

But as we know wax prints commonly termed as “ankara’ are the ones mostly trending and  are easily spotted  on the fashion runway due to their texture,flexibility and usability.

END OF LECTURE๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜‚ I hope you learned a lot….

Creativity has enabled fashion designers fuse foreign based concepts  with african prints creating mind blowing designs and it is not limited to just what we wear….

If you are an ardent follower of fashion trends, you will understand what I am ranting about๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜ฏ.. African prints have gone as far as being used to create bikinis, dinner gowns,tuxedos and lots more..

I can see myself rocking this….in my dreams though๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜

I don’t know about you but I’m sure I have seen various celebrities, the likes of Beyonce and Rihanna rocking our African print on stage and yes I said “our” because it makes me feel proud to be an african.

So are you a fashion designer, or a fashion lover… have you tried infusing the african print into your wardrobe, or your clothing line? Your home decor, etc The limits are endless I tell you.. Try it today and thank me tomorrow…

Thank you so much for reading and I hope I have inspired you.๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜

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